It's now a week since the attacks, and so much has changed. This is how I feel the atmosphere in Paris has changed over the last week; drastically, but not irreparably.
For one, people are scared, and understandably so. The other day when me and a friend were getting lunch from a place just inside Invalides metro station, a siren went off because somebody went through the wrong barrier. Everyone jumped and looked terrified, including the armed policemen who were patrolling, and during the brief moment before I realised there was no danger, my brain went into overdrive and I was prepared to run.
I'm slowly becoming used to seeing armed police everywhere. Yesterday I was on the métro and turned round to be faced with a machine gun. The policeman holding it was chatting with his colleague, which made the whole thing a lot less terrifying, but a little unnerving all the same.
Now, my bag is always being checked, even before being allowed into a supermarket. Security is being stepped up absolutely everywhere. Also, pretty much every big public event in the near future has been cancelled, including the turning on of the Christmas lights on the Champs-Elysées, which shows how seriously the authorities are taking public safety (and rightly so).
Have my own feelings about Paris changed? Yes and no. Something like this so close to home is horrible, and upon hearing the news that an attack was planned for La Défense (which I walk through on my way to work five days a week) I felt physically sick. This week, it has been hard to feel safe, but I am getting there.
However, I am trying to stay positive. The Paris that I know and love is still there, beneath everything. The lights of the cafés and cinemas of Montparnasse are still shining. This may sound silly, and I apologise if so, but the terrorists have already taken enough. They cannot take the spirit of this city too.
Just three hours before the attacks, I was sitting on the steps of La Grande Arche at La Défense. The whole of the business district was lit up in the dusk, the lights from the skyscrapers glimmering against the backdrop of the purple sky. I could see right to the Arc de Triomphe, with a shimmering column of white and red lights from the traffic going towards it. It was so beautiful that I just sat there and let the city buzz around me. I felt at home, and very, very safe.
The memory of this feeling is what is keeping me calm, and it gives me little nudges whenever I hear a siren, or see that yet another suspicious package has been found on the métro (this past week, this has been happening pretty much every hour, no exaggeration).
On Monday, I made a spontaneous decision to go to the Place de la République for the memorial at noon. It was very moving to take part in the minutes silence with hundreds of others, and to see the monument in the centre covered with flowers, candles and messages of peace and hope.
I also went with some people to see the Eiffel Tower lit up in the colours of the French flag, which was incredible.
Fluctuat nec mergitur- she is tossed by the waves, but does not sink. The motto of Paris has never been more apt.
K x
No comments:
Post a Comment