A few improptu Uni and language learning reflexions

In terms of this semester, we're on Week 4 and the pressure is starting to set in. Today I got set the second essay so far which determines 15% of my grade for the history module at the end of the year. This unwelcome news accompanied the realisation that I have not only come to Paris to aimlessly wander around old streets and read second hand books in parks, but to actually do some work and get a degree.

The thing about going to university in France, even if my uni is part of the University of London, is that everything is in French. This may seem blindingly obvious, but it doesn't stop hour long lectures on French politics being a little overwhelming at times. Of course, I love learning and taking notes in French, but it means that I sometimes come home very tired and wondering if my overloaded brain will ever function normally again.

Today, after a particularly frustrating exchange with a man in a post office and a class in which I made some stupid grammatical errors, I found myself thinking, 'I don't feel as if I've made any progress in French at all since I got here. I spoke better French in class at college than these past few days!' I sat grumpily on the métro contemplating life, and when I got home I went to the kitchen and made myself some comforting pasta. That's when a lovely girl from the room next to mine came in to make some tea, and we had a catch up. After our conversation, I felt so much better, having spoken in French with a friendly face. It restored my confidence; I am capable of speaking this language!

It made me realise that the standard I had for myself in college is impossible to maintain here. In language lessons I wanted to write and speak perfectly with no mistakes, and if I did make silly errors, I would get frustrated with myself. (Any of my friends from my classes will know what I'm talking about). That was the only way I knew how to learn a language; learn everything as quickly as possible and make as few mistakes as possible. Of course, that is unachievable when you are using the language to communicate on a daily basis, especially when it comes to post offices, banking, and over complicated things that require specific vocabulary.

Now, my main aim is to just chat with people and get my meaning across. Of course, I would prefer to make minimal mistakes, but whenever I get the gender of a word wrong or forget the subjunctive, the girls I live with just correct me with a smile. It's hard to be annoyed at yourself when nobody else sees it as a big deal!

So, a lesson I have learned not only from today but from my time here so far is this; it is okay to make mistakes. This may seem obvious to a lot of language learners, and I agree that to a certain point it is, but when you have a perfectionist mindset it is difficult to accept anything less that the standard you have set for yourself. From now on I've resolved to be a lot more laid back, and to have more realistic expectations of myself.

Well, this has turned into a semi-philosophical Tuesday. I'll post more soon about my Parisian adventures! 

K x